


This Afternoon

by Groomps



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: And Poor Levi Tagging Along, Humor, Other, Titan!Eren, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, We Need More Fics With Crazy Hanji Experiments, because we don't get enough of that, i wrote this at 3 am, kind of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 20:58:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4407419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Groomps/pseuds/Groomps
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One afternoon, a great afternoon when the weather was shining and Hanji was in the mood to torture Levi once more with her experimenting. An afternoon when Levi was perched up on the Titan’s nose, who watched him intently, his enlarged green eyes moving around, focused on him. It was really creepy, in a way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Afternoon

**Author's Note:**

> Ah see I wrote this at 3 AM half asleep and found it laying on my Desktop so I edited it and decided to upload it here, enjoy!

Hanji Zoe was an interesting person. Obviously very valuable to the Survey Corps, a fantastic warrior, and an even more fantastic scientist.

But no one could match her insanity.

At times her insanity was of good use, it was probably thanks to her that humanity had advanced, even if slowly, towards finding out more about the Titans. It wasn’t only about killing them for her. It was about trying to figure them out.

Oh right, she was also annoying as _fuck_.

Countless times did she interrupt the poor Captain Levi’s sleep, rambling on about some experiment going right and _oh Levi we’ve hit jackpot up in here don’t you understand why are you looking at me like this did I wake you up oh and now you’re pushing me out alright._

And to be frank, Levi hated it when she did that. But who could blame her? She was of assistance, incredibly clever, and fairly strong. He just had to live with the negative things that came with her, even if it involved saving her one too many times from being too close to the mouth of a Titan, tolerating her excited squeals and the hair ruffling.

_Oh, the hair ruffling._

More often than not Levi found himself having to straighten and fix his hair all over again because Four-Eyes had decided to get all excited and, despite Levi’s blatant uninterest to the subject, still run her disgusting _I-probably-just-got-done-with-touching-Titan-spit_ hands all over his luscious hair.

What? Of course his hair was luscious. Probably more luscious than Armin’s.

Besides all that, Hanji absolutely loved experiments. Much to the dismay of both Levi and Eren Jaeger, her favorite Titan Shifter. Eren didn’t really like the idea of experiments, along with his Captain.

Oh look, they finally had something in common. How exciting, time to bang.

Of course, they both had different roles in partaking in the experiments Hanji had mustered up. Unless, of course, Levi was a Titan Shifter without knowing.

 _That_ would have been interesting.

No, Levi’s role was more of the _I’ll-cut-you-out-after-we’re-done-doing-this-shit-but-if-you-dare-do-anything-out-of-place-I’ll-probably-kill-you._ And looking over Hanji in case she decides it’s time to explore the vast lands of Eren’s stomach.

Most of their experiments included Hanji trying to get Eren to solve puzzles so painstakingly simple even Kirschtein could solve- actually scratch that it’s not for sure- and maybe trying verbal communication, which was always a failure.

But hey, gestures were a thing Jaeger could do, like picking up a very excited Hanji and putting her on his shoulder and frowning when getting his finger sliced by Levi when he attempted to do the same with him. Although he did manage to pick him up on his hand once, when Captain was in a fairly good mood, and got a bit too excited, which ended in a sad Hanji because of a prematurely ending experiment, and the need for a new uniform. Damn Jaeger should have known his cape wasn’t spinach.

One too many times Levi had to wait while Hanji was having the time of her life on the brat’s shoulder, and it did get old really quick.

Although it would be pretty sweet up there, he thought sometimes. He finally wouldn’t be short, for a while at least.

One particular experiment, Levi had to attempt to see if he could communicate with Eren, probably for when they were in combat so he could bark orders at him and be sure that he would comply. He had kept trying to convince Zoe how this was all for nothing and that he should have been training to, _oh I don’t know try to control his ability better_ , but apparently Four-Eyes was keen and determined to make something work. And if she couldn’t do it, maybe Eren’s favorite Captain would.

_Fuck it, what else do I have to do this afternoon? All my friends are dead._

This brings us to this afternoon, a great afternoon when the weather was shining and Hanji was in the mood to torture Levi once more with her experimenting. An afternoon when Levi was perched up on the Titan’s nose, who watched him intently, his enlarged green eyes moving around, focused on him. It was really creepy, in a way.

“Alright Levi, go! I’m documenting all of this!”

“It’s not going to work, idiot! Don’t bother.” He shouted down at her, his eyes still fixed on Eren’s much bigger ones.

Sometimes he wonders if he could have ever imagined he would be sitting on a fucking Titan’s nose a couple of years ago. So that’s what his life had lead up to, leading a group of grubby 15 year olds, his friends all dead, and partaking in stupid, pointless experiments.

“Alright Jaeger, I hope you understand me when I’m saying I really don’t want to be here right now.” He really wanted to kill Hanji for all of this.

Eren let out a huff, which blew Levi’s hair out of place. In return, he stomped on his nose.

“This is sheer bullshit,” he muttered, and Eren gave some sort of grumble in return, as if saying _yeah what the fuck is Hanji thinking._

“So you think the same?”

This time Eren’s eyes narrowed. Slowly, Eren lifted up a finger and carefully bumped Levi’s shoulder.

“I’m not your fucking toy, Jaeger,” Levi pushed the finger away from him, much to the dismay of Hanji.

“C’mon, Levi, let him do whatever he wants for now, this needs documenting! We need to think what his Titan form thinks of you!”

“He sure likes you, all getting you on his shoulder!” He shouted back, hoping Hanji would hear him, and stood still, waiting to see whatever bullshit Eren would conjure up to torture him. _I swear, those two are working together._

Eren moved his face closer to the Corporal, who recoiled in disgust and suspicion.

And he licked him.

Whatever fury bottled up in the deepest blackest pits of Hell Levi had buried came rushing right up, and Hanji’s annoying hysterical laughter added more fuel to the fire.

“Eren _fucking_ Jaeger, you disgusting scum!” Shoving the slimy saliva away from him in pure disgust,  he looked into Eren’s eyes and he was sure the bastard was laughing in there, he had to be. Being a Titan did not mean he would get to mess up his Captain and get away with it.

The whole experiment had gone to shit once Eren had picked Levi up between his thumb and index finger, being surprisingly gentle like he feared of breaking Levi. Hanji abandoned her notes and flew straight up to Eren’s shoulder.

“The look on your face is amazing!” She burst into laughter once more as she stared right into the grumpy look Levi was giving her.

“Can we cut him out yet?” He sighed as Eren placed him on top of his head, deciding to let the boy have some fun while he could. And of course, Hanji. Not like she never had fun anyway.

“No, this is getting good! Hey, Eren!” At the sound of his name, Eren turned to look at Hanji, her face beaming with happiness.

“Can you take us for a walk?”

The minute Eren processed those words, he was running- well, more like a quick crawl- along the countryside they had decided to place the experiment at, and Levi would have almost fallen if it weren’t for Eren’s long hair providing a strong grip.

“Fucking damnit, Four-Eyes…!” He went to shout, until he got a part of the long hair into his face as Hanji burst into her hysterical, probably Satanic, laughter.

“I know you’re laughing your ass off, you brat!” He shouted down at the nape. Eren just _had_ to be laughing.

“Oh Levi, we should do this more often!” Hanji rambled on while laughing, which just pissed Levi more.

Suddenly, Eren started spinning around in circles looking surprisingly like a ballerina, only not so graceful. Only if a hunched down, drooling ballerina exists, then sure. Hanji ended up holding on from Eren’s hair as well as Levi. Levi pitied the poor bastard that would happen to walk by seeing this fuckery unfold in front of him.

“Stop spinning around, have you lost your mind?!”

“Yahoo!”

As Eren grew more tired, he finally stopped and sat on his ass somewhere Levi hoped was far away from HQ. As he finally let go of the greasy hair- **_disgusting_** -, he jumped on the Titan’s nape. Hanji leaped back on the ground, shouting excited “Hooray!”s.

Very carefully, Levi cut out the oval shape and was greeted with the familiar form of Eren _fucking_ Jaeger.

The bastard was _smirking_.

He knew it, he just fucking knew it. Just because he went all Titan he thinks he can get the go on annoying the living shit out of his Captain and getting away with it. Damn brat will probably claim not remembering anything once he wakes up.

Levi, letting out a sigh, carefully cut the boy out of the Titan, which immediately began to decompose, emitting off steam. With Eren in hand he jumped back on the ground.

Letting out a shudder at thinking of the thousands of germs situated on his body, his clothes still damp from Eren’s giant fucking tongue touching him, he shoved the boy to Hanji and stormed off.

“You need to get him to rest! Where are you going?”

“You take him. I’m going to be having a shower for the rest of the day.”

**Author's Note:**

> If anything is inaccurate, please feel free to inform me as I wrote this while delirious and in need of a fic with crazy Hanji, Titan!Eren and Grumpy Levi. Please don't leave me alone with Microsoft word at 3 AM again.


End file.
